the feeling of nothingness.

i feel like i'm drowning, 

but you won’t give me a life vest. 

i need to stop counting,

because I'm such a mess.

it feels like you unloaded a browning

in the middle of my dress.

i feel like nothing’s amounting,

this is too much stress.

my hope is embrowning,

your love is acquiesce.

i gave you my heart with largesse,

and you keep clowning.

but, can you please address,

why you are still frowning.

you should be impressed,

because at least i'm not drowning,

without your life vest.

the dates.

we plan out our dates,

and I can’t help but realize,

that this is my fate,

to look into his eyes, as the sun rises.

he is my soulmate without any further debate.

i can’t wait to go on these dates.

‘ah, this is so great.

‘ah, back to those dates we planned.

the same ones we never went on.

we never cuddled up in the sand,

i never saw ur eyes at dusk or dawn.

i wish I could recite the feeling of ur hand,

but all those memories are foregone.

all of this should’ve remained unplanned,

when am I ever gonna catch on.

the cycles.

the cycle continues once again. 

a toxic cycle which i'm always in. 

i fall in "love" with these men,

and they break my heart so paper-thin. 

i find a new guy to fill the void then,

a new cycle begins,

or should i say the cycle continues once again.

i’m done with this toxic cycle. 

i ignore all my feelings, 

and it's driving me psycho.

my hearts constantly bleeding,

they act like a two headed draco. 

their love is so misleading.

maybe their i love you text was just a typo.

i want this to stop. I'm pleading.

why is it so hard to break this toxic cycle?